Show 328 Tuesday 27 March

Watch today’s show at YouTube.

Hi, I’m Sarah. Welcome to The Daily English Show.
This week I’m going to introduce some original songs from the internet.
Today: Just Like Emmalina by LazyDork.

This video was posted 9 months ago and at that time Emmalina was one of the most popular YouTube users.
LazyDork wrote this rap talking about how he wasn’t doing very well on YouTube and he wanted to become famous like Emmalina.
And he used the metaphor of a drug addict who really wanted drugs, but couldn’t get them.

In other words YouTube, or YouTube fame is like an addictive drug, which is hard to get if you’re like LazyDork.

This is the chorus of the song:

YouTube is like liquid crack
And I’m the junkie that can score no smack
I wanna be famous like Brad and Angelina
Or even be … just like Emmalina

You probably know who Brad and Angelina are … Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – American movie stars.

Crack is: a potent hard crystalline form of cocaine broken into small pieces.

It’s not a word you often hear in New Zealand – because cocaine isn’t very popular in New Zealand. I guess because it’s made in Columbia – which is quite far away.

But it sounds like it’s quite popular in the United States. They consume half of the world’s annual consumption which is about 300 metric tons. And it’s the second most popular illegal recreational drug in the U.S.

As you can see I got quite sidetracked reading Wikipedia.

Anyway, cocaine is very addictive … and so is YouTube … hence the line:
YouTube is like liquid crack.

A junkie is a drug addict.
And score means get.

There are a few other words you might not understand:
Mad
He says: I got mad vids
Mad
can mean insane or angry … but here it means great.
Vids is short for videos.

So I got mad vids means: I have got great videos or my videos are great.

And one word I don’t quite understand yet is flame … that’s an internet slang word which means something about writing abusive messages.

STICK NEWS

Kia ora in Stick News today a company in New Zealand has been fined more than 200,000 dollars for misleading customers about the vitamin C content of their blackcurrant drink.

Ribena is a black current flavoured softdrink made by GlaxoSmithKline the second largest pharmaceutical company in the world.
The company has advertised Ribena by saying blackcurrants have four times as much vitamin C as oranges.
Blackcurrents may well contain a lot of vitamin C – but Ribena certainly doesn’t.
In 2004 two high school students in New Zealand tested the drink and found it had less vitamin C than it claimed to have.
The students followed up their experiment with letters to the company, the Advertising Standards Authority, and the Commerce Commission.
The Commerce Commission took GlaxoSmithKline to court and today the judge decided they have to pay $217,500 for misleading customers. They also have to place corrective advertisements in newspapers.

And that was Stick News for Tuesday the 27th of March.
Kia Ora.

the snow report

Last night Jonny actually slept in the cave.

conversations with sarah
#202 When are you going to go back to New Zealand?

Step 1: Repeat Tom’s lines.
Step 2: Read Tom’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Tom When are you going to go back to New Zealand?

Sarah Never if I keep reading the news …

Tom What do you mean?

Sarah It’s just so depressing sometimes … it makes me want to not go back.

Tom What have you been reading today?

Sarah Oh, apparently a lot of police officers in New Zealand rape women.

Tom Really? Police officers?

Sarah Yeah, how sick is that? I thought police officers were supposed to protect us from violence.

Tom That’s awful.

Sarah Mmm … it definitely makes me think twice about whether I want to call them to ask for help. I think I’d rather protect myself than have violent criminals help me.

Just Like Emmalina
by LazyDork

Emmalina’s gotten 27,000 hits in the last 5 minutes.
And I’ve only gotten four all week.
Maybe if I hit refresh one more time …

Hello this is LazyDork comin’ at you.
And I check my YouTube twice as much as you do.
I got mad vids and they all get ignored.
By the young, the restless and eternally bored.

Check the latest comments, no one cares.
Check my ratings and it’s totally bare.
I’m never most viewed, or most discussed,
On recently added, I’m a total bust.

I stalk the users with 200,000 views.
And I just don’t get it, I’m just confused.
Stationary girls talking to webcams,
About their pimply boyfriends and summer plans.

I can’t compete on this global stage.
Because, to tell the truth, I’m twice your age.
But why must I be crushed and shed some tears.
Just cause I can drive and grow a beard.

YouTube is like liquid crack,
And I’m the junkie that can score no smack.
I wanna be famous like Brad and Angelina,
Or even be … just like Emmalina.

YouTube is a harsh mistress.
It’s caused me great mental distress.
Melissa Joan Heart was just like Sabrina.
Now I wanna be … just like Emmalina.

I can’t do yoga, I’m not 18.
I smell my boxers, to make sure they’re clean.
I was born in the seventies, I got three cats.
And I spend half my life in pajama pants.

It’s no shock, I’m a YouTube loser.
At least I’m not a self-spam abuser.
I upload video, I think it’s not bad.
And the only comment is: LazyDork’s a fag.

Maybe 10 years ago, I’d be the man.
But I was still on a slow-ass dial up plan.
AOL teen chat, That was my game.
Asking age sex location and then getting flamed.

But now I’ve sadly realized.
That’ the YouTube fame of which I fanaticized.
Is reserved for those whose faces are much cleaner.
And I’ll never be, just like Emmalina.

I’ll never be just like Emmalina.

YouTube, it’s like liquid crack.
And I’m the junkie that can score no crack.
I wanna be famous, like Brad and Angelina
Or even be … just like Emmalina.

YouTube is a harsh mistress.
It’s caused me great mental distress.
Melissa Joan Heart was just like Sabrina.
Now I wanna be … just like Emmalina.

LazyDork.com What.

Links

Today’s news.
GlaxoSmithKline

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