Show 471 Friday 17 August

Watch today’s show at YouTube.

Hi, I’m Sarah. Welcome to The Daily English Show.

Today I’m going to tell you the “world’s funniest joke”.

A professor from a university in the UK did some research about jokes. And he made a website where people could submit and rate jokes.
One of the purposes of the research was to find the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.
And through the research he found what he calls “the world’s funniest joke”.

So this is the joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods and all of sudden one of them collapses. And he looks like he’s not breathing and his friend thinks he’s dead.
So he pulls out his cell phone and he calls emergency services and he says to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
And the operator says: “OK, calm down, calm down. I can help you. Um, now first, just make sure he’s dead.”
And then there’s a silence on the phone. And then there’s a shot. Bang!
And then the guy says: “OK, what next”.

This is the original wording of the joke from Wikipedia:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

Now I’m going to explain it in case you don’t understand.

When the operator said, make sure he is dead, what she meant was: check his breathing or pulse. Because if he isn’t dead, then maybe he can be saved by resuscitation or CPR or something.

But he takes the make sure (he is) dead in another way. For example how you say: Make sure the oven’s turned off properly. And that means: check it and if it’s not turned off properly, then turn it off.

And I have one more joke today. This was the top joke in the UK from that research.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. And the driver says: “That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
And the woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down, and she’s really angry. And she says to the person next to her: “I can’t believe it, the bus driver just insulted me!”
And the man says: “Really?! Well, you should go up and tell him off. Here, I’ll hold your monkey.”

This is the original wording of the joke from Wikipedia:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

STICK NEWS

Kia Ora, in Stick News today, an internet writer in China has been jailed for subversion.

Subvert is a formal verb which means “to undermine the power and authority of (an established system or institution)”.
Dissent means to “express disagreement with a prevailing view or official decision”.
Reuters reported China is the world’s leading jailer of journalists and writers. At least five writers have been jailed for up to 10 years since 2005 as part of a crackdown on dissent.
An internet writer has just been jailed for four years for inciting to subvert state power.
The writer posted anti-government articles online.
His lawyer was quoted as saying: “It’s totally wrong to convict him … He was only expressing his political views. He should enjoy free speech.”

And that was Stick News for Friday the 17th of August.
Kia Ora.

conversations with sarah
#290 What’s on Sunday Kitchen this week?

Step 1: Repeat Jenna’s lines.
Step 2: Read Jenna’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Jenna What’s on Sunday Kitchen this week?

Sarah Muffins.

Jenna Muffins! That’s the first time you’ve done them isn’t it.

Sarah Yep.

Jenna What kind of muffins?

Sarah Chocolate and banana.

Jenna Mmm, sounds good.

Sarah Yeah, they came out really well. I was surprised ‘cos it’s the first time I’ve made muffins and I wasn’t really sure how they’d come out.

Jenna Where did you get the recipe?

Sarah Off the internet.

links

today’s news
today’s STICK NEWS pictures

world’s funniest joke

music

show start, cws start, qa start
artist: Matthew Tyas
album: Music for the movies vol1
tracks: Superheros, Intellectuel, Three ways to run away
from: Oloron Sainte-Marie, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

other music
artist: mindthings
album: The First Emotion
track: Urban Minds
from: Bordeaux, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.

Have you have translated this script – or part of it – into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s