Category Archives: Friday Joke

Show 527 Friday 12 October

Watch today’s show at YouTube.

Hi, I’m Sarah, welcome to The Daily English Show.

Time for some more Canadian English today.

This is called a tuque in Canada.
In NZ I’d call it a beanie.

Another word I learnt recently is faculty.
Well I already knew that word, but not its North American meaning.

This is of those words that, the first time I heard it, I thought that the person must be just using it in a strange way, but then after I heard several people using it in the same way I started to think hmm hang on, maybe I’m the one who is using it incorrectly, or maybe it has a different meaning in Canada. And so I looked it up and yes, sure enough, it does.

Faculty. Chiefly British. A group of university departments concerned with a major division of knowledge.

And that’s how the word is used at New Zealand universities.
For example, the Faculty of Arts, which includes many departments like the Department of English Literature or French.

And the North American meaning is: the teaching or research staff of a university or college.

So there are different kinds of staff members here at Acadia, there are people who teach, and they are part of what is called faculty, and then there are other people who do administration or cleaning or whatever and they are not part of faculty.

The reason why I’ve heard that word a lot recently is because now there are negotiations happening between faculty and administration.

I’m not exactly sure what it’s about, but basically something about their working conditions and how much they get paid.

And there’s also a possibility that they could strike on Monday. But they haven’t decided that yet and they’ll probably keep negotiating and decide on Sunday night.

STICK NEWS

Kia Ora this is Stick News. A New Zealand man who has previously been jailed in three countries started a new jail term in his home country today. Over the last four years he has conned 3.4 million dollars out of the New Zealand government.

Wayne Thomas Patterson is a 47-year-old New Zealander. He has been in jail in Australia, New Zealand and America.
In Australia he conned $A500,000 in benefits using 43 false identities. In America he defrauding authorities of $US2 million.
He was last released from prison in 2003 and within a month, he was offending again.
Over the last four years he has used 123 false identities to con more than $3.4 million out of the Ministry of Social Development.
The New Zealand Press Association reported the fraud was New Zealand’s largest benefit fraud. The previous biggest benefit fraud was for $250,912.
Police said when they raided Patterson’s modest rented flat in west Auckland, they found nearly $700,000 in $50 notes buried in the garden, $184,333 cash in the flat and in his car, and gold bars worth $355,000, also hidden in the flat.
They also found 137 ATM cards and 102 forged birth certificates.
There was a sophisticated security camera, six computers, and a lavish garden with $50,000 worth of plants.
Patterson is now in jail again and will serve at least five years of an eight-year sentence.

And that was Stick News for Friday the 12th of October.
Kia Ora.

friday joke

Two ducks are staying in a hotel. They are about to make love and then they realize they don’t have any condoms. So one of the ducks rings room service to ask for some condoms.
The woman on the phone says, ”OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?”
”No,” he says, ”I’ll suffocate!”

I found today’s joke here. I changed it a little.

conversations with sarah
#327 What happens if there’s a strike?

Step 1: Repeat Tane’s lines.
Step 2: Read Tane’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Tane What happens if there’s a strike?

Sarah Not much, I don’t think, just most of the classes stop. But the English language classes continue.

Tane Why is that?

Sarah Because the English language instructors aren’t part of faculty.

Tane Why not?

Sarah I don’t know. I’m not quite sure how it works.

Tane How long will they strike for?

Sarah I don’t know. I doubt if it would be very long though. Probably just a couple of days.

Tane What’s the problem?

Sarah I think one of the problems is that the professors want to get paid more. Apparently they get less than people at other universities in Canada.

notes

Faculty of Arts
It depends on the university, what this is called.

For example, if you do a BA in English lit at Victoria, NZ, you would be studying with the School of English, Film, Theatre, & Media Studies, which is part of The Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences.

If you do a BA in English lit at Auckland, NZ, you would be studying with the Department of English, which is part of the Faculty of Arts.

If you do a BA in English lit at Acadia, Canada, you would be studying with the Department of English, which is part of the Faculty of Arts.

links

today’s news
more here
today’s STICK NEWS pictures

About the strike – ASU
Acadia University Faculty Association
The last time they had a strike it was in winter, check it out, the place looks so much different in winter, eh.

music

show start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: La note en cage
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

friday joke start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: Sumbala
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

cws start
artist: San Sebastian
track: Happy Sad
artist site

qa start
artist: Manu Cornet
album: Distance & Temps
track: Silk Road
from: Paris, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

qa bgm
artist: Olga Scotland
album: Scotland Yard
track: L-Micro
from: Moscow, Russia
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.

Have you have translated this script – or part of it – into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.

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Show 520 Friday 5 October

Watch today’s show at YouTube.

Hi, I’m Sarah. Welcome to The Daily English Show.

Last night we went to the Axe to celebrate Keith’s birthday. And everyone was wearing these antlers because there’s a moose on the label of Keith’s beer.

I was wondering if they would actually do the pledge. And they did. I don’t think they did it at exactly 11pm though.
And they even sang happy birthday. Check this out.

Speaking of celebrations – this is a long weekend because Monday is Thanksgiving Day in Canada.

Thanksgiving is celebrated in the United States and Canada. And no, we don’t celebrate it in New Zealand. I’ve heard of it though – I’ve seen it quite often on American sitcoms. Usually there’s a lot of stress and drama organizing a big family get-together – and people burn the food or have an argument or something.

Anyway, it seems like it’s a pretty big deal in North America. And a lot of people get together with their families and have a special meal together.

It’s on different days in the US and Canada. Thanksgiving in the United States is next month.

And the history seems to be a bit different too. This is what I can gather from my quick research on Wikipedia.

I think in the US it’s about some people from England who went to what is now called the United States and a local guy helped them grow some food. And they were grateful.

In Canada, it’s about English guy who went to live in Canada and held a formal ceremony in 1578 to give thanks for surviving the long journey.

And this is what it says about the significance of Canadian thanksgiving:

A celebration of being thankful for what one has and the bounty of the previous year.

So what does bounty mean?

Well, it has a few meanings. I don’t think they’re talking about number one: a reward paid for killing or capturing someone.

This is the one: something given or occurring in generous amounts.

I thought we’d do a special show on Monday for Thanksgiving.
We’re going to go and ask a lot of different people what they’re thankful for. This isn’t an original idea, I’ve seen it on American TV shows and video blogs … but I think it’s a nice idea, so I thought I’d do it. And that’ll be on Monday.

STICK NEWS

Kia Ora this is Stick News. A passenger on a flight in the United States was told to change his t-shirt by an employee. The airline now says it made a mistake.

A man from Florida got on a plane in Ohio wearing a T-shirt which said: “master baiter.” CNN described it as a fictional fishing shop T-shirt.
An employee told him he had to change his T-shirt, turn it inside out, or get off the plane. The man said he protested that the airline was infringing on his right to free speech, but he changed his shirt anyway because he was afraid he would miss the flight and a day’s work.
The airline now says the employee made a mistake because they don’t have a dress code. They said they will apologize to the passenger.

And that was Stick News for Friday the 5th of October.
Kia Ora.

friday joke

I found today’s joke here.

conversations with sarah
#323 Really? No Halloween?

Step 1: Repeat Lucy’s lines.
Step 2: Read Lucy’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Lucy So you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in New Zealand?

Sarah No.

Lucy How about Halloween?

Sarah No.

Lucy Really? No Halloween?

Sarah No. Well, basically no. But some people kind of do. It’s pretty much the same as Japan. Like most people wouldn’t even know it’s Halloween – but some clubs might have a Halloween party or something.

Lucy What do you celebrate?

Sarah Um, Guy Fawkes.

Lucy Is that like thanksgiving?

Sarah No, not really. It’s, um, a celebration of the failure of an attempt to blow up parliament or something … anyway, no one really cares about the history. It’s just a night to drink a lot and set off fireworks.

Lucy Sounds dangerous.

Sarah Yeah, it is. And when we were kids we used to make a dummy and then burn it on a bonfire which is pretty creepy really.

notes

a big family get-together = an event where many family members gather in the same place
get-together noun (informal) an informal meeting, a party

a pretty big deal = regarded as important

keep your pants on (this was in a STICK NEWS picture) = calm down

master baiter = this sounds like “masturbater”
masturbate = stimulate one’s genitals with one’s hand for sexual pleasure
I think “master baiter” sounds more like “masturbater” with an American accent.

links

today’s news
today’s STICK NEWS pictures

music

show start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: La note en cage
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

friday joke start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: Sumbala
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

cws start
artist: San Sebastian
track: Happy Sad
artist site

qa start
artist: Manu Cornet
album: Distance & Temps
track: Silk Road
from: Paris, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

qa bgm
artist: Fabio Basile
album: Mabbit
track: The Carousel Beginning
from: Verona, Italy
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site
YouTube channel

Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.

Have you have translated this script – or part of it – into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.

Show 513 Friday 28 September

Watch today’s show at YouTube.

Hi, I’m Sarah. Welcome to The Daily English Show.

Friday is “culture class” day for the English language students at Acadia. And today we were supposed to be going to a corn maize, but the weather wasn’t so great, so it was cancelled, which is a shame, but plan B turned out to be really cool. We went to a place in Wolfville where you can choose a piece of pottery and paint it. It was really fun.
Here’s a bit of footage from the day.

STICK NEWS

Kia Ora this is Stick News. On Wednesday, the producer of The Daily English Show was interviewed on Canadian radio for the second time in a month.

The national public radio and television broadcaster in Canada is called the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation or CBC.
CBC operates several radio stations including Radio One.
CBHA-FM is the CBC Radio One affiliate in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
It broadcasts both national and local programs. One of the local programs is called Mainstreet.
Mainstreet is on weekdays from 4 to 6 pm. According to their website, the show is “A lively and entertaining blend of national and regional news, interviews, book reviews and recipes”.
This week Mainstreet scored an interview with the producer of The Daily English Show.
The interview was live at around 5:40 on Wednesday.
Also find out what brought an English teacher from Japan all the way to Wolfville and why she has her camera equipment in tow.
Stay tuned, those stories are coming up in the final half hour of Mainstreet. You are listening to Mainstreet on CBC Radio One. It’s five thirty and the local news is coming up next.

And that was Stick News for Friday the 28th of September.
Kia Ora.

friday joke

One day a little boy called Johnny was sitting in a church. He had to go to the bathroom so he said to his mother, ”Mummy, I have to piss”.
His mother said, ”Johnny, don’t say piss in church! Next time you have to use the bathroom, say, ‘whisper’ because it is more polite”.
The next Sunday, Johnny had to go to the bathroom again. This time he was sitting next to his father, so he said to his father, ”Daddy I have to whisper”.
His father said, ”OK. Here, whisper in my ear”.

conversations with sarah
#318 How was the pottery painting?

Step 1: Repeat Tim’s lines.
Step 2: Read Tim’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Tim How was the pottery painting?

Sarah Good. It was fun.

Tim Have you ever done that before?

Sarah No, not like that – where you buy a piece already made and just paint it. But I went somewhere in Japan where you make a piece and then you choose the colour and they glaze it and then post it to you.

Tim Was that in Tokyo?

Sarah No, it was in Tokoname, in Aichi.

Tim What did you make?

Sarah I made three things: a rice bowl, a tea cup and just, like, a plate.

Tim Do you still have them?

Sarah Yeah, I think I still have two of them. I think one of them got chipped so I threw it away. But I still have the other two.

Tim What are you going to do with the cups?

Sarah The ones I painted here? I don’t know. Drink coffee out of them for a start, I guess.

links

The Clay Ground

CBC

CBC Radio

CBHA- FM

Mainstreet Nova Scotia on CBC Radio One

today’s STICK NEWS pictures

Fair Dealing

today’s joke (Contains spelling mistakes. I rewrote it a bit.)

Tokoname at Wikipedia

Tokoname pottery

Tokoname more about pottery

music

show start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: La note en cage
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

cws start
artist: San Sebastian
track: Happy Sad
artist site

qa start
artist: Manu Cornet
album: Distance & Temps
track: Silk Road
from: Paris, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

qa bgm
artist: sion
album: Smoky Jazz Dub
track: Back for Coffee
from: Rugby, ? (doesn’t say which country – could be England, Australia, South Africa or USA)
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.

Have you have translated this script – or part of it – into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.

Show 506 Friday 21 September

Watch today’s show at YouTube.

Hi, I’m Sarah. Welcome to The Daily English Show.

Today we went on a trip with the English language students.

We went on a boat called Bluenose ll.

This is from Wikipedia:
Bluenose was a Canadian schooner from Nova Scotia, a celebrated racing ship and a symbol of the province.

It was launched in 1921 and in 1946 it hit a reef and sank.

It also says:

The depiction of a generic schooner on the Canadian dime has for years been commonly known as the Bluenose. In 2002, the government of Canada declared the depiction on the dime to be the Bluenose.

 

Dime means 10 cent piece, by the way.

And more from Wikipedia:

Bluenose II, was launched at Lunenburg on July 24, 1963, built to original plans by many of the same workers. She cost $300,000 to build and was financed by the Oland Family as a marketing tool for their brewery operations in Halifax and Saint John. Her popularity led (to) her being sold to the government of Nova Scotia which in turn gave possession of the ship to the Bluenose II Preservation Trust.
And it says that these days, the Bluenose II serves as a goodwill ambassador, a tourist attraction in Lunenburg, and a symbol of the province.

So we went on the boat and it was great. I’m not really much of a boat person actually, but this was really nice.
The town of Lunenburg is really pretty too. I love the bright colours of the buildings.
Here’s some footage of the trip.

STICK NEWS

Kia Ora in Stick News today, a bar owner in Osaka Japan has been arrested after serving alcohol to a customer she knew would be driving. Kyodo news reported the arrest was the first of its kind.

The drink driving laws in Japan have been changed. The amendment went into effect on Monday and makes anyone who provides alcohol to drivers liable for punishment.
Yesterday police arrested a 53-year-old bar owner in Osaka. They say she served several glasses of beer to a 45-year-old man, even though she knew he would be driving later on. The customer was also arrested.

And that was Stick News for Friday the 21st of September.
Kia Ora.

friday joke

A man visits his aunty in a rest home. When he arrives, she’s asleep, so he sits down in a chair in her room and flips through a few magazines, and munches on some almonds which are sitting in a bowl on the table.

Eventually, his aunty wakes up, and the man realizes he has absent-mindedly finished the entire bowl of almonds.

“I’m so sorry, aunty, I’ve eaten all of your almonds!”

“That’s okay, dearie,” the aunty replies. “After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t really like eating the almonds anyway”.

conversations with sarah
#313 How was the trip?

Step 1: Repeat Jenna’s lines.
Step 2: Read Jenna’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Jenna How was the trip?

Sarah It was great. The weather was perfect and the boat was really beautiful and sparkling clean. My image of boats is of dirty, smelly boats … but this was really nice. It was like sailing right out of a museum.

Jenna Who organized the trip?

Sarah The English language division.

Jenna Do they often go on trips like that?

Sarah Yeah, they do, on Fridays. Not every Friday, but quite often they go on trips to see things around the province.

Jenna Was it a day trip?

Sarah Yeah, we left in the morning at about quarter past seven and then got back about three I think.

Jenna So you had lunch in Lunenburg?

Sarah Yeah, we went to this nice little café. I can’t remember what it was called, but the food was great.

notes

I’m not much of a x person = I don’t really like x.

aunty is also spelled auntie

dearie = dear
From my dictionary:
old-fashioned, BrE, spoken
used to address sb in a friendly way
used as a friendly or condescending form of address

I said the English language division but it’s actually called the Acadia Centre for International Languages which is part of Continuing and Distance Education. I’m still a bit confused by all the names …

links

today’s news
today’s STICK NEWS pictures

I found the joke here – but I rewrote it a bit.

Bluenose
Lunenburg

music

show start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: La note en cage
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

asking acadia start
artist: XL Ant
album: XL Ant
track: Levitation (Club Mix)
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

cws start
artist: San Sebastian
track: Happy Sad
artist site

qa start
artist: Manu Cornet
album: Distance & Temps
track: Silk Road
from: Paris, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

qa bgm
artist: Manu Cornet
album: Distance & Temps
track: Un peu plus tard
from: Paris, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.

Have you have translated this script – or part of it – into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.

Show 499 Friday 14 September

Watch today’s show at YouTube.
Deutsch

Hi, I’m Sarah. Welcome to The Daily English Show.

Today I thought I’d tell you a bit about the English language courses they have at Acadia. They have courses called EPP which stands for English for Professional Purposes. Those courses focus on English for travel or communication or work purposes. That’s mainly the kind of stuff I did in Japan.

The other courses are EUP which stands for English for University Purposes. EUP courses are for people who want to study at university. Especially if they want to study at Acadia. But it would also prepare you for studying at another university.
So some students come from China, for example, and they want to do a degree at Acadia so before that they do EUP courses. And to be able to do regular courses you need to reach a certain level. So you either need to pass a certain level of the EUP course or you need to take a test and get a certain score.

And for the EUP courses there are different levels. So on Tuesday the students took a test to see which level they should be in. The test is called the CAEL test which stands for Canadian Academic English Language Assessment. That test is like the TOEFL which you’ve probably heard of, or the International English Language Testing System.
Those are international tests and CAEL is just for Canada. So I think every country probably has their own test.

I haven’t done much teaching of English for academic or university purposes so I don’t know a lot about it. But I’m interested to find out more. So I’m going to talk to some teachers and students and I’ll let you know what I find out.

STICK NEWS

Kia Ora in Stick News today, Google is sponsoring a moon landing competition. The winner will receive 20 million US dollars.

A robotic spacecraft is a spacecraft with no humans on board, that is usually under telerobotic control.
Google is sponsoring a competition open to private industry and non-government entities worldwide.
The winner will be the group who can land a robotic spacecraft on the moon, take it on a 500 metre hike and return with a data package including video by December 31st 2012.
First prize is $20 million and second prize is $5 million.
TDES studio has yet to announce whether or not they will enter the competition.

And that was Stick News for Thursday the 13th of September.
Kia Ora.

friday joke

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

I found the joke here.

conversations with sarah
#308 What did you take in first year?

Step 1: Repeat Tommy’s lines.
Step 2: Read Tommy’s lines and talk to Sarah.

Tommy It must be hard for international students to take the regular courses at university.

Sarah Yeah, totally. University was hard enough for me and I was a native speaker.

Tommy Right. What did you find the hardest?

Sarah Oh everything … waking up in the morning after drinking all night. No seriously, um, just when I’d open a book and try and read something there’d be so many words I didn’t understand. And as for the content I had no idea what they were talking about.

Tommy What did you take in first year?

Sarah I took politics, philosophy, English lit. and French.

Tommy How were they?

Sarah Well English and French I’d studied at high school, so I had some idea of what they were on about. But politics, I had noooo idea. I didn’t even know what left wing and right wing meant. I remember there was, there was this guy who lived down the hall from me and he was really into politics so one day I went and knocked on his door and said: “Darren, I don’t what left and right wing means, can you please explain it to me?” And he was like, “Sure”. He was really cool. He’s a member of parliament now actually.

Tommy Wow, really? He must be a young MP.

Sarah Yeah, I think he’s New Zealand’s youngest MP.

notes

I’ll let you know
let somebody know = tell somebody

had no idea
have no idea = don’t know

English Lit.
English Lit. = English Literature

were on about
be on about = talk about

he was like
he was like = he said

links

today’s news
today’s STICK NEWS pictures

Acadia’s English language courses
CAEL
TOEIC
IELTS

Acadia links

Study English at Acadia University
Acadia University
Acadia’s YouTube channel

music

show start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: La note en cage
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

friday joke start
artist: AdHoc
album: Toutes directions
track: Sumbala
from: Annecy, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

cws start
artist: San Sebastian
track: Happy Sad
artist site

qa start
artist: Manu Cornet
album: Distance & Temps
track: Silk Road
from: Paris, France
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

qa bgm
artist: XL Ant
album: XL Ant
track: Track 07
album at Jamendo
artist at Jamendo
artist site

Did you notice a mistake in this script? Please leave us a comment and tell us! We really appreciate people pointing out our mistakes.Thank you.

Have you have translated this script – or part of it – into your language for English practice and published it on your blog? Please leave a comment and a link so other people can read your translation. Thank you.